The [real] Worst

I learned a really rough lesson today.

I posted a blog about something I was frustrated about and let my frustration get in the way of deciding what was and was not okay to post on a public blog. I’m sure all bloggers go through this: deciding to be anonymous or not, who to share with, whose names to change, what’s okay to post publicly and what should be kept to yourself.

Normally, I pride myself on being pretty good at maintaining a degree of anonymity without being totally anonymous. I usually just share funny stories or things I like or what’s going on with my life, and don’t cross the line with anything that should not be public or could hurt someone. But today I posted a venting blog and got carried away with my venting.

At first I felt great having gotten so much off my chest and was able to look at the situation I blogged about and laugh. It wasn’t until later that I would seriously regret some of the things I said.

I always link my blog to Facebook, and the blog post in question was no different. When I signed on to Facebook I had received an inbox from the very girl I had just mentioned in my post under an alias name.

Naturally, she was upset. Understandably, she was offended.

Never in a million years would I have dreamed she would have seen my post, even though my blog is public, which was a rookie mistake. Things posted on the internet have a way of making their way back to whoever they would most offend.

I read her message and the blood drained from my face. The high I was riding of getting out my frustrations fell away and I began to realize that I’d made a terrible mistake. I typed out the longest and most heartfelt apology I’d ever written and sent it immediately.

I spent the time between my message and receiving her response pacing around my room, freaking out. It would be not unreasonable for this girl to reject my apology and hate me for the rest of my life. She could make my semester hell because she is in my class and I would feel guilty for the rest of the year. All the worst case scenarios are running through my mind when I received a message from her.

She accepted my apology and agreed that we could of course put this behind us. I told my roommate, who had been watching me slowly fall to pieces. She looked at me as I read the message again and said, “Mere, I think you need to cry.”

And I did. It was the fact that this girl that I had just blatantly insulted had accepted my apology without question and was willing to move past it. I had passed an unfair judgment on her and she had every right to deny me forgiveness but she didn’t which is a mark of what a decent person she is.

This post is intended as an apology to the girl in question, who will know who she is, and as a warning to all my fellow bloggers. Changing someone’s name in a post will not mean they won’t recognize themselves. Think before you post and put yourself in the shoes of the person you’re blogging about.

Blogging is a right, we are privileged in being able to express our feelings and opinions, but with this privilege comes responsibility which I neglected today. I learned my lesson the hard way, and I’d hate for anyone else to do the same.

To the girl in question: thank you for treating me with kindness that I did not deserve, I am endlessly grateful that you accepted my apology. I have learned my lesson.


About MMM

Resolving to write in 2011!
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One Response to The [real] Worst

  1. Julie Montinieri says:

    Nice Job Meredith. Katherine is a keeper too.

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