Shark Attack

Our school does this awesome thing every year called Shark Attack. It works like this: all the people who sign up are assigned a random number. You receive a shark with your number on it. You receive only the name of the person with the shark one number above yours and your mission is to find that person and squirt them with your water-loaded shark. Once you get your target, they hand over their shark(s) and the name of their target, who is now your new target.

Madness ensues. We had over two-hundred and fifty students participate this year and fortunately I was off campus for the first few days of the game. I was told that dinner on Friday night (the day the game started) was like the battle at the Cornucopia from the Hunger Games. 

The rules make it so that you can’t attack your target while they are in their room, in class or working, or anywhere where they are required to be, but they are vulnerable when walking to any of those places.

I nabbed my first target with help from my roommate’s brother. I received a text alerting me that my target was in the caf, wearing a grey shirt and drinking orange soda at the same table as my roommate’s brother. When I got him, I received a general round of applause from my friends in the caf at the time.

Onto target number two.

Luckily, Katherine knew the girl, as all I had to go off of was her picture from LinkedIn. At the caf the next day I was hiding out in the student activities office while Katherine was getting a sandwich when she came running into the room.

“I found your girl! She’s upstairs!”

I grabbed my shark, sprinted through the commons, up the stairs, and into the caf where my target was calmly in line for a sandwich.

Onto target number three.

I stalked the crap out of this kid to memorize his face since I’d never seen him before and enlisted the help of a few other people, requesting that they text me if they saw him on campus anywhere. But I happened to run into this kid as I was heading into a building on campus to print off a few resumes for a job fair. I was dressed in a pencil skirt, a nice blouse, tights and heels when I stopped dead in my tracks, there he was. I stared at him for a solid five seconds.

I didn’t have my shark on me. Should I run back inside, up to my room and get it? Would I get a chance at him again? But I’m wearing heels!

After my moment of indecision, I ran back into the house, kicked off my shoes, sprinted up the stairs, grabbed my shark, ran back downstairs, grabbed the heels and took off in my stocking feet down the path after the kid.

Onto target number four.

I ran into her on my way to the commons when she was walking the other way past me on the bridge. Luckily she didn’t know I had her, so I simply made a U-turn as soon as she was past me and came up behind her.

I never made it to target five, since moments later, as I waited for my panini, someone came out of nowhere and squirted me with their shark. I was obligated to turn over all the sharks I’d collected and tell her who her new target was (the person I was supposed to be getting).

The game ends tomorrow at noon but I am out of the running.

It was my first year playing and though I am sad I cannot win, I am happy that I no longer have to walk around campus in a constant state of paranoia, checking over my shoulder constantly and making my friends watch my back while we’re outside hanging out.

A few of my friends are still in the running so I’m hoping one of them wins! 🙂


About MMM

Resolving to write in 2011!
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